Welcome to the ride of your life! If someone close to you (no names, please) is experiencing the early stages of perimenopause (or approaching menopause), you're in for quite the adventure. This phase can start years, even decades, before actual menopause. Sure, she's going through a lot, but let's talk about how this affects you. Ready? Let's dive in.
Step One: Hot Flashes (or, “Suddenly, It’s 100 Degrees in Here!”)
Remember when she used to ask if you were cold? Yeah, those days are over. Perimenopause brings hot flashes so intense, you’ll find yourself frantically adjusting the thermostat in the middle of the night. She'll be ripping off layers like she's performing a magic trick, and no number of fans will keep up. Antarctica? Perfect. The thermostat? Plummeting to "polar bear friendly."
Your role: Avoid phrases like, "It’s really not that hot," because trust me, it is—for her. Have ice packs on hand and adjust the A/C without complaints.
Step Two: Mood Swings (or, “Welcome to Your New Soap Opera”)
One minute, you're the love of her life; the next, you're wondering if it’s safe to laugh at her joke. Perimenopause can feel like starring in a drama series where the plot twists come fast and unexpectedly. Yesterday’s playful banter about leaving socks on the floor? Cute. Today? It's the reason you're on thin ice.
Your role: Master the art of the “sympathetic nod” and remind yourself that these mood swings are courtesy of hormonal changes, not you. If you want to score points, say it with chocolate.
Step Three: Brain Fog (or, “Where Did I Leave My... Sanity?”)
If she suddenly forgets what she was talking about mid-sentence, don’t worry—it’s just brain fog, a hallmark of perimenopause. She might lose track of things or ask the same question twice. This is where you come in as the Official Finder of Lost Items™.
Your role: Calmly help her find those misplaced car keys... which, yes, may or may not be in the fridge. Be patient, and avoid jokes about “senior moments” unless you're fond of sleeping on the couch.
Step Four: Night Sweats (or, “Did We Just Move to the Tropics?”)
Night sweats are like hot flashes’ sneaky cousins. Just when you're cozy under the blankets, it’s time for her to throw the covers off like they’ve caught fire. The bed might feel more like a water park in the middle of the night, and yes, you’ll probably hear "I’m too hot!" on repeat.
Your role: Stock up on extra sheets and pajamas, and consider investing in cooling pillows. (A secondary blanket for yourself might not hurt, either.)
Step Five: Weight Gain (or, “My Pants Definitely Shrunk in the Wash!”)
With hormonal changes come changes in metabolism, and she may start feeling like those favorite jeans are playing tricks on her. Weight gain is a common side effect of perimenopause, even when nothing else in the diet has changed. Cue the gym membership.
Your role: Offer moral support and never, ever say the phrase “just hit the gym” without an invitation. Instead, offer to join her on a walk or healthy cooking adventure.
Bonus Step: The “I’m Done With This” Moment
Every now and then, the frustration will boil over, and she'll declare she's officially "done"—with her hair, her clothes, or maybe even your face. It's a moment of menopausal meltdown, and it's completely understandable.
Your role: Give her space, stay supportive, and don’t take it personally. This will pass... just like the hot flashes.
What Can You Do to Help?
The transition into menopause isn’t easy, but you can play a big role in making it smoother. Aside from being understanding and sympathetic, here are a few things you can do:
Temperature Control: Get ahead of the hot flashes by keeping a fan handy or adjusting the thermostat when needed.
Compliments Are Key: Offer genuine compliments at strategic moments—it’s like handing out gold stars during a storm.
Stock Up on Chocolate: It’s not a stereotype; sometimes, it’s exactly what she needs.
Be Her Health Advocate: Help her find a good Naturopathic Doctor to work with. A professional who specializes in natural health can guide her through perimenopause, optimizing her well-being and minimizing those pesky symptoms.
Laugh About It Together: Humor really helps. When in doubt, laugh. After all, this phase is temporary, and you’re in it together.
So, someone you know is approaching menopause? Buckle up. It’s going to be a rollercoaster, but with a little empathy, humor, and support, you’ll make it through to the other side.
At IVY Integrative, you can build your own team of holistic practitioners! Reach your optimum health in-person or online. Check out our Get Started page to learn how to work with us!
Author: Dr. Marissa Boyd, ND
References:
G Del Rio, R Menozzi, G Zizzo, A Avogaro, P Marrama, A Velardo, Increased cardiovascular response to caffeine in perimenopausal women before and during estrogen therapy, European Journal of Endocrinology, Volume 135, Issue 5, Nov 1996, Pages 598–603, https://doi.org/10.1530/eje.0.1350598
Henry G Burger, Diagnostic role of follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) measurements during the menopausal transition—an analysis of FSH, oestradiol and inhibin, Acta Endocrinologica, Volume 130, Issue 1, Jan 1994, Pages 38–42, https://doi.org/10.1530/eje.0.1300038
L E van Rijn, V J Pop, G R Williams, Low bone mineral density is related to high physiological levels of free thyroxine in peri-menopausal women, European Journal of Endocrinology, Volume 170, Issue 3, Mar 2014, Pages 461–468, https://doi.org/10.1530/EJE-13-0769
Marco Mezzullo, Alessandra Gambineri, Guido Di Dalmazi, Alessia Fazzini, Matteo Magagnoli, Margherita Baccini, Valentina Vicennati, Carla Pelusi, Uberto Pagotto, Flaminia Fanelli, Steroid reference intervals in women: influence of menopause, age and metabolism, European Journal of Endocrinology, Volume 184, Issue 3, Mar 2021, Pages 395–407, https://doi.org/10.1530/EJE-20-1147
Marios C Markopoulos, George Valsamakis, Evangelia Kouskouni, Anastassios Boutsiadis, Ioannis Papassotiriou, George Creatsas, George Mastorakos, Study of carbohydrate metabolism indices and adipocytokine profile and their relationship with androgens in polycystic ovary syndrome after menopause, European Journal of Endocrinology, Volume 168, Issue 1, Jan 2013, Pages 83–90, https://doi.org/10.1530/EJE-12-0550
Disclaimer:
This information is generalized and intended for educational purposes only. Due to potential individual contraindications, please see your primary care provider before implementing any strategies in these posts.